In certain sports –diving, figure skating, gymnastics, and so on, athletes strive to attain that “perfect 10”. There is a tendency to strive for that perfect 10 in other areas of our lives as well.
Seen as the pinnacle of achievement and obsessed with achieving it, we often hear about the perfect body, the perfect job, the perfect family.
But why the need to be perfect?
Some experts believe that perfectionism is developed during childhood. Family pressure to be the perfect child, school pressure to be the perfect student, as well as the images of perfection in the media, all contribute to pushing some people into a lifetime of feeling guilty, self-criticism, and worry as they try to hit this ideal.
Perfectionists set a very high bar for themselves and do everything in their power to reach it. From this perspective, perfectionism is great because it motivates us to remain focus and to work incredibly hard to achieve extraordinary results. Of course, from time to time we will execute in such an extraordinary way that our performance will be deemed as perfect. Ironically, in our quest to reach our full potential, if our sole goal is to achieve perfection, then we are heading down the wrong path. Perfectionism does not propel us to greatness.
Why?
There is always room for improvement
Firstly, if something is perfect, it implies that there is no room for improvement. Think about the times when you have achieved at an incredibly high level: Can you unequivocally say that there was no way you could have performed better in that moment? Look at Usain Bolt’s dazzling world record runs. Even there, experts have shown how a few minor adjustments would have made him run an even faster time.
The achievement itself might be impressive but perfectionists often don’t find joy in it because they still feel that it wasn’t impressive enough. They will get an “A” on the exam and yet feel bad that they didn’t finish the exam quickly enough. They might win the sales competition and feel there wasn’t a big enough gap between them and the next person. It would be like Usain Bolt totally dominating his race, demolishing the world record and fretting about the minor adjustments he could have made to run even faster. Such is the challenge with perfectionism. You could move mountains and it would say that it was not enough.
Perfectionists are not resilient
Secondly, perfectionists are not resilient. Instead of seeing themselves as human beings who are prone to make mistakes, they see these missteps as evidence that they’re unworthy or not good enough. As a result, they go through life often feeling insecure. For them, it is never about the success journey; it is always about the destination- the results – a perfect 10 in gymnastics, an “A” on the exam, topping the sales leader board. In their eyes, anything less than that ideal is a total failure. But even more than that, they erroneously believe that the process should be flawless and so when they inevitably come across obstacles, their ability to Keep On Pushing wanes.
What is the answer?
Pursue excellence!
By excellence, you might think I mean performing at a level that is superior to others but what I really mean is simply giving of your absolute best, every single time. It is not about being the best but being your best and striving to become better.
The Greek philosopher, Aristotle tells us that “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” In other words, excellence is something we cultivate over a period of time through hard work, wise work, and smart work. It emerges from continuous improvement.
The pursuit of excellence keeps you focused on what matters. Instead of focusing on what is not working, it keeps your attention on what’s going well. It does not beat you down for the mistakes you make but instead gets you to focus on the actions you can take to get back on track and make things even better. It leads to empowerment instead of frustration. Even if you are not totally satisfied with the results you got, a reasonable person can always take comfort in knowing they did their absolute best, given the situation. In this way, excellence transforms you into one of your biggest cheerleaders and boosts your self-esteem.
The bottom line is that you can never be truly perfect, but you can always be excellent
Keep On Pushing!