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What Is Resilience and How Do You Build It?
There are so many uncontrollable events that take place in our lives. Social and political upheaval, financial and economic insecurity, and a global pandemic are a few of the things that have impacted us collectively in recent years. Then there is a plethora of challenges that impact us on a personal level –a health crisis, the death of a loved one, relationship issues, and job security—just to name a few. One of the important traits you will need to navigate these challenges is resilience. To be sure, I am not suggesting that resilience is the mother of all personality traits, however, it does create many positive outcomes. I just described resilience as a personality trait, but it could easily be seen as a psychological quality since it is in fact a mindset. Resilience could also be viewed as a skill because it is something you can learn and improve upon. Regardless of the label you choose to use, resilience speaks to the ability to adjust to, recover from and grow out of adverse situations. Rather than allowing life’s inevitable challenges to crush them, resilient people find ways to change course, strengthen their resolve and keep on pushing forward toward their goals. In other words, resilient people do not experience less anxiety, disappointment, heartache, or stress than everyone else. Instead, they find healthy ways to integrate harsh experiences into their lives. The term resilience was introduced into the English language in the early 17th Century from the Latin verb “resilire”, meaning to rebound or recoil. This probably explains why we often hear people speaking of resilience as the ability to bounce back from a setback. While that is so, resilience is far more than that. As an author, Dr. Rick Hanson, tells resilience is the skill you need to survive the worst day of your life and every moment of your life. Resilience is the ability to confront, learn from, become stronger, and grow from the adversity that we face in life. What Creates Resilience? Despite the numerous studies that have been conducted, researchers still have a very limited understanding as to why some people are more resilient than others. There is some evidence that points to genetics playing a small role, however, the most important factor affecting a person’s resilience is their individual history. Resilience is a process that begins in childhood and continues throughout our lives. I am sure you would agree that the story of our lives is always evolving, thus leading to several ways in which one can become resilient. All the undesirable experiences that we encounter provide opportunities for us to develop resilience. As the ancient philosopher, Epictetus, once said, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” When adversity is met with positive emotions and the ability to adapt, a person will become more resilient. Being in a supportive environment will also help someone to become more resilient. Notwithstanding, there are specific resilient skills that can be learned. Anyone can learn how to: Break out of negative thought cycles Start challenging your negative thoughts by questioning their accuracy and validity. Identify any evidence that supports or refutes the negative thought, and consider alternative perspectives. Practicing mindfulness and engaging in activities that bring you joy can also help to shift your focus away from negative thoughts. Resist the temptation to catastrophize Our tendency to catastrophize is not grounded in reality. One way to get past this challenge is to practice mindfulness. Resisting the temptation to catastrophize can be challenging, but there are several strategies you can use to help you have a more realistic outlook. Earlier, I mentioned the practice of mindfulness and staying present in the moment. This can help you to avoid getting caught up in worst-case scenarios. Moreover, when focusing on the present and reminding yourself that you have coped with difficult situations before is a source of additional strength. Additionally, using positive self-talk and seeking support from a therapist or counselor can also be beneficial in learning to resist the temptation to catastrophize. Remember to be kind to yourself and take things one step at a time. See challenges as an opportunity Seeing challenges as opportunities can be a powerful mindset shift that allows you to approach difficulties with a sense of optimism and possibility. One way to do this is to focus on the potential benefits and growth opportunities that a challenge may bring. Instead of dwelling on the problem, try to identify possible solutions and take action to address them. It’s important to remember that challenges are a normal part of life. How about seeing them as a chance to learn and develop new skills and strengths? Reframing the situation by looking for the positive aspects is likely to reveal hidden opportunities for you to grow and become a stronger, more resilient person. Resilient people know that they are not immune from life’s ups and downs. They use these experiences for personal growth and development. With this mindset, you too can approach challenges with a more positive attitude and a sense of hope. Keep On Pushing!